Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
