How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
they're like a gay fantastic four
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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