my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
