i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
