I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He shit in the fireplace
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