Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
