in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
