you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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