i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
