Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
