the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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