"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Pants are for mortals
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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