I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
