He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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