Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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