Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
