I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
