so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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