Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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