so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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