i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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