Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
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Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
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Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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