Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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