he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i out mim tonsoeep
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize