I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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