He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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