I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
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i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
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I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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