do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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