I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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