I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10