it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours