thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
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How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
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I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet