Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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