we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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