so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize