lets start a swedish sibling band together
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
