we have officially lost it.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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