vagina is talking i cant
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
