ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My pussy is not your playground.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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