dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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