I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
