My balls are so social today.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
