He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
