Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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