I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
this hospital has no fireball
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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