Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I intend to get homeless drunk
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
