I wish I only lived at night.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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