I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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