Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
