well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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