physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
