i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
