I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
