his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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