Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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