How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
