I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize