Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
