considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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