so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
