My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
