drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
