Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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